


I'm in love with myself (when Im with you)

by BBachman9



Category: Elite (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28021119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBachman9/pseuds/BBachman9
Summary: Loving you is like feeling the fresh air, is feeling the wet ground with bare feet, drinking a glass of cold water when you are thirsty. Loving you is like taking a breath after holding your breath underwater for a long time.Or: Polo writes over a thousand words about how much he loves his boyfriends in fifteen minutes. He is justifiably a little bit concerned about it
Relationships: Valerio Montesinos Hendrich/Cayetana Grajera Pando/Leopoldo "Polo" Benavent Villada
Kudos: 11





	I'm in love with myself (when Im with you)

Cayetana,  
When we met, you told me that people pretend to be happy, that I wasn't going to like your reality.  
You were wrong, doesn't usually happen. I know you, and I can't be more than fascinated with you.

It's ridiculous the way that whatever you do awakens an interest that consumes me, it's as if for that second I was paralyzed in my place, is as if I saw it from above.

How you bite your lip when you're thinking about something, or snap your fingers. How you clap when something excites you and the sparkle in your eyes when you see something beautiful. Fall down, your eyes shine when you see those silly romantic movies that I'm honestly crazy about, did you know? When talking about what you study, when you comment on a book that impressed you, or a poem, a song.

Sometimes I am afraid. You are such a pure, innocent person.

And I know you would refute it. Baby we're human, we all make mistakes But you are the least spiteful, most self-critical, understandable, and sensitive person I have ever met.  
I'm in love with the way things move you, did I ever tell you? I mean, nothing happens next to you, all the problems that I have, that Val has, or your family, your friends, our mess don't transfer you. 

Loving you is like feeling the fresh air, is feeling the wet ground with bare feet, drinking a glass of cold water when you are thirsty. Loving you is like taking a breath after holding your breath underwater for a long time.

Because I love you as much as I love to be breathing right now. You make me better. Because by your side I feel that I am everything that I never dared to be. You look at me as if I were something growing, but not incomplete, as if every moment that passes you are more proud of me. Because I am not afraid to disappoint you. I know that taking care of me is taking care of you. Because you lend me your eyes to see the world from your point of view, and darling I haven't had a prettier sight.

Valerio,  
I always envied the ability you had to relate to others. How excited you always seemed, acting like nothing could really affect you.

I never told you this, but when we met, when I was thirteen years old, i couldn't stop looking at you for a second.

I had a girlfriend and was delighted with her. I had my old friends, we were starting high school. We were all very nervous but your sister was climbing the walls. They had argued, explained, her father did not agree to your coming and her mother tried to appease her temper. I had no idea that Lu had siblings, we really were always more acquaintances than close friends. We were going to have a little party at Guzman's house, and Lu came with you.

We were thirteen, you were fifteen.

Guzman's parents were coming back late and Marina was not at home. Of course, since you were a child you were a bad influence, you brought alcohol and speakers.

I always wanted to be able to disconnect like you do. Dance to the music like nothing matters. I had generalized anxiety since I was twelve years old, and my head is a constant murmur, a thud. I couldn't talk to anyone about it other than my mothers or my therapist, and I really didn't want to be the weirdo in class, so I just ignored it and pretended everything was okay.

Living with me was so drowning that I couldn't think about the future, not even the next day.

I was so afraid of failing, of making a bad decision and that it was the wrong one, that in a moment I stopped deciding anything at all.

Didn't trust what I wanted, because what could I know? When I was tired and needed to go home, but Carla was bored, she didn't want us to leave, I stayed, I needed her to love me. I never liked beer, but if Guzmán kept telling me to drink I couldn't let him drinking alone. If Carla had a price, I clearly couldn't afford it. And without Guzmán I was nobody. Where truths that I learned to live with.

You were fifteen and dressed as weird as you do now. Shiny shirts and tight pants, gold rings and chains. You were a whirlwind. I've never seen anything like it. I wondered if you were aware of how precious you were. I assumed that yes, generally people with that confidence knew. Guzmán and Carla knew it. But it didn't seem to be the same. I realized the first time I saw you that we were alike. We both begged for some attention, and we were crying out to be told that we were doing well, that we deserved good things. I did what they told me, without question. And you wanted people to want to be with you, I notice that. Val, everyone wanted to be with you.

I rarely spoke if they didn't name me, but after listening to you talking for hours and telling joke after joke, I had the fleeting urge to ask you to stop. To say you that you didn't have to try to please kids as stupid as us. Because you are witty, and funny, and we like you, begging you to please stop doing this to yourself.

Clearly I didn't say a word. 

Better late than never: You're doing great, Val. You deserve the world, and we love you so much.

I am in love with how foolish you are. Whit your curiosity, of how the world surprises you. That you are so bold and confident. 

I love so much how grateful you are, how receptive ; you never pretend, so open and proud; you aren't ashamed to show that you need affection after having gained confidence; that you always encourage us to do what we feel, we don't give a damn what the world has to say about us because of you. 

Honey, I am in love with you, and I admire you. You are really smart, creative, practical. Problems do not drown you, you try to see the positive side of everything. You are very funny, I cannot be sad with you by my side for a long time. 

They say that nobody support live without seeing the sun. It's ridiculous. I know that if I want to, I could perfectly spend decades in a tiny room without windows with you by my side, because the sun does not compare one bit to how much you illuminate everything around you.

Val

I promise to laugh at all your jokes, even if they are mostly terrible

I promise to listen to you carefully, even if the things you say are totally lacking in logic and meaning.

I promise to listen to all those awfulls musical songs that you like, see Hamilton again on Broadway and sing the soundtrack of Mama Mia in Greece on some beautiful island where I can see you with sunglasses even if it's cloudy, because you are very aware of how handsome you are on it. 

I promise to show you that you can trust me every day, and that there is nothing you tell me that can make me love you less.

Caye,  
I promise to go with you to all the museums you want and pretend to understand what I see, with a wine in hand pretending to have knowledge of history of art and a good taste. I don't. You're an exception. 

I promise to be your most loyal admirer in each season presentation we clearly go to, and to be your model if you want it even if I hate cameras, and both know Val would be a better option without a doubt.

I promise not to laugh when your mother tells anecdotes from your childhood that make you blush.

I promise to make you love your life as much as you teach me to love mine. 

You Two

I love you because thanks to you I am ridiculously and hopelessly in love with the person I am, when I am by your side.

Because there are souls that one wants to look out, like a window full of sun.

Because I don't know what souls are made of, but ours are one. And yours sprouts in mine, she loves to be part of something so beautiful.

"It wasn't love at first sight, it was love at first memory, because I saw you in my mother's eyes when she told me to marry the type of person I would like to use as a model to raise my children's" 

-Ander read, leaving the page on the desk, and looking at Polo who sought his expectant gaze. - "If you get divorced you have my number" - he joked, trying not to cry. . - "Wait, you had this written right? I went to make coffee and came back" -he scoffs.

Polo sighs "I'm going to take this as an affirmative reaction" says with a smile. 

Everything is going well.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there's a grammatically error, I'm not an english speaker


End file.
